I'm a big fan of racing games, but the Need for Speeds have always varied in quality. On the PS2 you had the brilliant NFS Underground and my favourite ever racing game (at the time) NFS Hot Pursuit 2. But when they came to the 360 with Most Wanted, Carbon or Undercover they was all a bit, meh. They were ok and did there job but the game engine itself was never brilliant, especially in the god aweful ProStreet or Shift 2. Thinking about it, this and Shift are probably the only good NFS games in the first era of NFS on the 360. Probably because a few years ago the creators (EA) bought up Criterion. These are the people that made the far superior in nearly every way Burnout.
Burnout was brilliant, Burnout 3 (or Revenge) is possibly the best multiplayer racing game EVER! But then EA bought them up and stopped making Burnout games anymore which is a bit shit. They used them to make the newer versions of Most Wanted and Hot Pursuit, which are both good, but still no Burnout.
If my knowledge is correct The Run is the last NFS game before the Criterion made ones and it's definately the best of the older ones. It's also probably the last to try and make a racing game with a plot. Why, WHY!? Why do you do this every game manufacturer? We don't want a plot in a racing game. Although this is the closest to a good one. It's just an excuse for you to drive from east to west coast of Americaland in "3 days". I put the 3 days in commas because the entire story mode takes about 3 hours. It is damn fun though. It's just drive bloody fast and either beat the cops or beat your rivals and win each race as they come.
Basically that's it. This is a good racing game. It's no Forza, Grid or GT but I picked this up for £2.99 and it was a fun way of killing a few hours and baring in mind I have played this game before years ago and I played through the whole thing again is an achievement for me as I rarely ever do this.
6/10
Monday 2 February 2015
Thursday 29 January 2015
Tuesday 27 January 2015
Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell (Xbox 360)
I don't care what the boring people say, Saints Row is awesome! Well, 2 onwards anyway. If you have a sense of humour bypass and don't enjoy fun games go elsewhere. The newer Saints games are known for the mad weapons and some inspired comedy (the dildo baseball bat spring to mind). I still remember pissing myself laughing when I was rushing to save a character at the finale of Saints Row The Third and "holding out for a hour" by Bonnie Tyler came on. Genius.
Unfortunately, as much as I like Saints Row, Gat out of hell does let the side down a bit. Many people may have complained that Saints Row IV was glorified dlc, which to a degree it was. But it still took a good 20-30 hours to complete, which is a damn site longer than 90% of games nowadays. This is a standalone expansion pack. It takes about 4 hours to complete the story, but to be fair, that's how long some FPS's take nowadays, so it's not to bad. Plus at the low (download price) of £15 it's about a 3rd the price of a full game.
Anywho, the game. Well it's not brilliant. It all screams "lazy". The story is fun, Satan kidnaps your main character from the previous games and you have to go into hell to save her (or him). You can play as either Gat or Kinzie. I chose Kinzie cause she's just awesome.... and rather hot :p. But the story is told mostly through a story book style thing and it's not that funny compared to Saints 3 or 4. There isn't really any story missions either, just the "challenges" and "distractions". The musical number is however pretty brilliant, certainly better than most musical things *cough* Frozen *cough*. But that's the only music you get, there is no soundtrack at all, which is a shame as that is often a brilliant part of a Saints game.
To be honest, you already know if you're going to like/play this or not. It's a Saints game. It's £15. I'd personally wait for it to come on sale (as Saints Row stuff is on sale usually once a month). But it's certainly better than alot of game tat out there. It just should've been longer and maybe make a bit more effort and made it a proper game.
7/10
Unfortunately, as much as I like Saints Row, Gat out of hell does let the side down a bit. Many people may have complained that Saints Row IV was glorified dlc, which to a degree it was. But it still took a good 20-30 hours to complete, which is a damn site longer than 90% of games nowadays. This is a standalone expansion pack. It takes about 4 hours to complete the story, but to be fair, that's how long some FPS's take nowadays, so it's not to bad. Plus at the low (download price) of £15 it's about a 3rd the price of a full game.
Anywho, the game. Well it's not brilliant. It all screams "lazy". The story is fun, Satan kidnaps your main character from the previous games and you have to go into hell to save her (or him). You can play as either Gat or Kinzie. I chose Kinzie cause she's just awesome.... and rather hot :p. But the story is told mostly through a story book style thing and it's not that funny compared to Saints 3 or 4. There isn't really any story missions either, just the "challenges" and "distractions". The musical number is however pretty brilliant, certainly better than most musical things *cough* Frozen *cough*. But that's the only music you get, there is no soundtrack at all, which is a shame as that is often a brilliant part of a Saints game.
To be honest, you already know if you're going to like/play this or not. It's a Saints game. It's £15. I'd personally wait for it to come on sale (as Saints Row stuff is on sale usually once a month). But it's certainly better than alot of game tat out there. It just should've been longer and maybe make a bit more effort and made it a proper game.
7/10
Sunday 25 January 2015
Resident Evil (2002)
This is the polar opposite of films I love, in comparison to my last review (Reservoir Dogs). Now I don't get why this got such bad reviews when it came out, I personally think it's brilliant. It's no Reservoir Dogs, but it's certainly better than 90% of the tripe Hollywood make and is probably the best video game adaption ever. I understand why some of the sequels get slaughtered in their reviews (will be reviewing them soon), but this dosen't deserve the panning it often gets.
First off Milla Jovovich is great. She does that "what the hell is going on" face very well and is a very underrated actress (see Fifth Element or Forth Kind). Plus (and I think i'm aloud to say this about as my fiance likes her too) she is pretty damn hot. Yes she has zero "boobage" but the eyes, which clearly the director/s likes as they like to focus shots on them alot, are piercing and of course the legs in that red dress and boots..... Wow.
Anyway i'm distracted. OK Paul Anderson isn't the best director of action in the world, but the action does the job. The scene with the dogs is over the toply (is that a word?) cool as is the finale with the "licker". The cgi isn't brilliant, but what do you want for a relatively low budget film.
The acting is a bit hit and miss. Hit - Milla (of course), Michelle Rodriguez as the hard bitch, Colin Salmon as the token cool English black man that the director loves to slice into pieces (see AvP) and Eric Mabius does a fine job. James Purefoy on the other hand is a bit, meh. The seen where he just stands there waiting for the lift door to open in particular it's like he just read it off the page for the 1st time. Oh and, nothing to do with acting really but there is a "zombie" that makes me crack up, in the 1st proper action sequence there's one zombie extra in the background that seems to fall over for no apparent reason.
I know people are going "but it has nothing to do with the game". Yes this is true but if you want the game, go play the game, simple. I love Resident Evil. It's not going to win any Oscar's, but as an action horror movie it is solid and (SPOILER ALERT) I bet none of you thought everyone bar one character was going to die.
8/10
First off Milla Jovovich is great. She does that "what the hell is going on" face very well and is a very underrated actress (see Fifth Element or Forth Kind). Plus (and I think i'm aloud to say this about as my fiance likes her too) she is pretty damn hot. Yes she has zero "boobage" but the eyes, which clearly the director/s likes as they like to focus shots on them alot, are piercing and of course the legs in that red dress and boots..... Wow.
Anyway i'm distracted. OK Paul Anderson isn't the best director of action in the world, but the action does the job. The scene with the dogs is over the toply (is that a word?) cool as is the finale with the "licker". The cgi isn't brilliant, but what do you want for a relatively low budget film.
The acting is a bit hit and miss. Hit - Milla (of course), Michelle Rodriguez as the hard bitch, Colin Salmon as the token cool English black man that the director loves to slice into pieces (see AvP) and Eric Mabius does a fine job. James Purefoy on the other hand is a bit, meh. The seen where he just stands there waiting for the lift door to open in particular it's like he just read it off the page for the 1st time. Oh and, nothing to do with acting really but there is a "zombie" that makes me crack up, in the 1st proper action sequence there's one zombie extra in the background that seems to fall over for no apparent reason.
I know people are going "but it has nothing to do with the game". Yes this is true but if you want the game, go play the game, simple. I love Resident Evil. It's not going to win any Oscar's, but as an action horror movie it is solid and (SPOILER ALERT) I bet none of you thought everyone bar one character was going to die.
8/10
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Did you know that when this came out 24 years ago that it was a massive flop. In America no one liked it, it did appauling in pre-release things and partially went straight to video. If it wasn't for us Brits this masterpiece quite possibly would have simply faded to obscurity. You see, we got it and liked it alot more than the yanks and then it became a hit and because of us, it eventually became the hit it is.
This is without a doubt (in my opinion) Tarantino's best film. Pulp Fiction is good, but overrated. I almost prefer Jackie Brown to Pulp, but i'd have to re-watch them again to be sure. The Kill Bill's are entertaining but by no means a good film/films. An aquired taste I'd say. Inglorious Bastards was just a bit shit. Django was very good, if a bit long but not very Tarantino-esque. If anything his 2nd best film is True Romance, which he only wrote.
Anyway, Reservoir Dogs. This film is brilliant. Especially considering for about 75% of it's running time, it's just some middle aged men looking cool and talking. It's all very stylishly shot and one thing I didn't remember (I must've seen this maybe 4-5 times before) is the action sequence with Steve Buscemi's Mr Pink. It's fucking amazing! One of the best action scenes I've ever seen, especially for an American film.
There's not alot else you can say about this really. It's acted brilliantly with a cast of actors that are very under rated even today (Michael Madsen & Steve Buscemi are always brilliant). Harvey Keitel is effortlessly cool, even for a quite short fat guy. Tim Roth is the only one that slightly let's it down for me. I don't like him that much. I don't know why, but I never have. Also if there is any part of this film to be considered bad/boring, it's his back story bit, which is just less interesting, but maybe that's just me.
Reservoir Dogs is one of the best films ever mad, FACT! and would easily be in my top 10 films ever.
9/10
This is without a doubt (in my opinion) Tarantino's best film. Pulp Fiction is good, but overrated. I almost prefer Jackie Brown to Pulp, but i'd have to re-watch them again to be sure. The Kill Bill's are entertaining but by no means a good film/films. An aquired taste I'd say. Inglorious Bastards was just a bit shit. Django was very good, if a bit long but not very Tarantino-esque. If anything his 2nd best film is True Romance, which he only wrote.
Anyway, Reservoir Dogs. This film is brilliant. Especially considering for about 75% of it's running time, it's just some middle aged men looking cool and talking. It's all very stylishly shot and one thing I didn't remember (I must've seen this maybe 4-5 times before) is the action sequence with Steve Buscemi's Mr Pink. It's fucking amazing! One of the best action scenes I've ever seen, especially for an American film.
There's not alot else you can say about this really. It's acted brilliantly with a cast of actors that are very under rated even today (Michael Madsen & Steve Buscemi are always brilliant). Harvey Keitel is effortlessly cool, even for a quite short fat guy. Tim Roth is the only one that slightly let's it down for me. I don't like him that much. I don't know why, but I never have. Also if there is any part of this film to be considered bad/boring, it's his back story bit, which is just less interesting, but maybe that's just me.
Reservoir Dogs is one of the best films ever mad, FACT! and would easily be in my top 10 films ever.
9/10
Friday 23 January 2015
PS1 "retro round-up" Volume 1
This is going to be a new segment I have dubbed "retro round-up". I have recently got into the world of retro gaming/collecting, well ok, mainly PS1 games, but it's fun and interetesting to see how some games have aged and here is mini-reviews of about half a dozen games I tried yesterday:
Anna Kournikova's Smash Court Tennis -
I like the logic behind this, take your average addictive tennis game (smash court tennis), put the biggest (and then prettiest) tennis lady on the cover/title and voila, it'll sell more.
Back in the day I loved this game, it was super addictive with cute cartoon graphics. It was one of my main 2 player games. Now, the graphics are still quite cute, if obviously very dated, but the game mechanics are bloody hard, I couldn't even win a game on easy!
Then - 8/10
Now - 3/10
Area 51 -
A port of an already quite bad light gun arcade game, although i've always loved light gun games. Especially back then, when I used to be able to dual wield John Woo style and kick ass!
Nowadays, I can't play it with a lighgun due to LCD TV's. But I also can't play it because I appear to have got a duff copy that will only play about a minute of the game before it glitches and repeats the same section of gameplay, but with no bad guys to shoot.
Then - 6/10
Now - ??/10
Tommi Makinen Rally -
If I remember correctly, this was only brought out to cash in on the Colin McRae rally craze of the late 90's. Back then it was bad, but my god now it's horrible. The graphics are standard PS1 racing graphics, but the car physics are mad, cars bounce for no reason and the slightest tap of an (often invisible) wall will spin you 180 degrees for no reason.
Then - 5/10
Now - 1/10
Time Crisis -
My fav light gun game back in the day. The PS1 version runs slower than the arcade version, but was still brilliant.
Now I have to play it without a lightgun, it's so much more awkward, especially the controls. But the game itself still feels great.
Then - 9/10
Now - 7/10
Crash Bandicoot (3) Warped -
I loved Crash back in the day. I remember playing the demo of the 1st game more than the games I got with the actual PS1 itself. If memory serves me correctly they got worse and easier as they went along. But after playing this one yesterday it was still brilliant. Gameplay wise this game could've been made today. Graphically it wasn't terrible, much better than all of the above games. I guess that's why all the Crash games are worth alot on ebay now.
Then - 8/10
Now - 8/10
Tekken 2 -
I never liked Tekken 1, but 2 was light years better. I think cause Lei was always my fav and he was introduced in this one. What can I say about this today? Well not alot because my game wouldn't work at all. It thought it was a music CD. So yeah, go ebay!!
Then - 8/10
Now - ??/10
Anna Kournikova's Smash Court Tennis -
I like the logic behind this, take your average addictive tennis game (smash court tennis), put the biggest (and then prettiest) tennis lady on the cover/title and voila, it'll sell more.
Back in the day I loved this game, it was super addictive with cute cartoon graphics. It was one of my main 2 player games. Now, the graphics are still quite cute, if obviously very dated, but the game mechanics are bloody hard, I couldn't even win a game on easy!
Then - 8/10
Now - 3/10
Area 51 -
A port of an already quite bad light gun arcade game, although i've always loved light gun games. Especially back then, when I used to be able to dual wield John Woo style and kick ass!
Nowadays, I can't play it with a lighgun due to LCD TV's. But I also can't play it because I appear to have got a duff copy that will only play about a minute of the game before it glitches and repeats the same section of gameplay, but with no bad guys to shoot.
Then - 6/10
Now - ??/10
Tommi Makinen Rally -
If I remember correctly, this was only brought out to cash in on the Colin McRae rally craze of the late 90's. Back then it was bad, but my god now it's horrible. The graphics are standard PS1 racing graphics, but the car physics are mad, cars bounce for no reason and the slightest tap of an (often invisible) wall will spin you 180 degrees for no reason.
Then - 5/10
Now - 1/10
Time Crisis -
My fav light gun game back in the day. The PS1 version runs slower than the arcade version, but was still brilliant.
Now I have to play it without a lightgun, it's so much more awkward, especially the controls. But the game itself still feels great.
Then - 9/10
Now - 7/10
Crash Bandicoot (3) Warped -
I loved Crash back in the day. I remember playing the demo of the 1st game more than the games I got with the actual PS1 itself. If memory serves me correctly they got worse and easier as they went along. But after playing this one yesterday it was still brilliant. Gameplay wise this game could've been made today. Graphically it wasn't terrible, much better than all of the above games. I guess that's why all the Crash games are worth alot on ebay now.
Then - 8/10
Now - 8/10
Tekken 2 -
I never liked Tekken 1, but 2 was light years better. I think cause Lei was always my fav and he was introduced in this one. What can I say about this today? Well not alot because my game wouldn't work at all. It thought it was a music CD. So yeah, go ebay!!
Then - 8/10
Now - ??/10
Thursday 15 January 2015
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Danger of the Ooze (Xbox 360 - 2014)
If you know me at all, you'll know i'm a fan of the turtles. But the proper turtles, ya know, the 80/90's ones, even the 2007 TMNT cgi film was pretty good and I didn't mind the recent Megan Fox as April effort. The games have often been quite entertaining, especially back in the day. I loved the 2 turtles games I had on my Amiga and I enjoyed replaying one of them on Xbox arcade and it's tarted up version. But there has yet to be a re-release of the very original 2D side scrolling awesome game I used to love, until now!
Well, sort of. Considering this based on the extremely annoying new Nickelodeon version of TMNT where Casey Jones is a 12 year old, Crang is a pain in the arse, April is a bit useless and for some godforsaken reason they say "booyakasha" instead of COWABUNGA!!! I got genuinly angry the 1st time I heard them say booyakasha instead, it's fucking retarded, they say COWABUNGA godamnit!!
And breathe. Sorry about that, but it's true. Anyway, the last TMNT game in the Nickelodeon verse was bad, but an entertaining 3D brawler, like turtles games should be. This is a single player only side scrolling affair. But don't for a second think this is a remake of the classic Amiga (or Nes if you're that way inclined) original. It simply takes the idea from it and ruins it and make it ludicrously hard.
For what is essentially a kids game, my god it's hard. If one of your turtles die, that's it, they're dead, unless you're lucky enough to find them hidden in the games maze like world and due to the stupid save system it's easier to simply reload your save when you die than to actually load up from the checkpoints, which take you back further than your save..... I know, it makes so much sense right. Oh yeah and as I said earlier, the whole game is a maze and trying to work out where you're suppost to go is a nightmare. God knows how kids managed with this game.
Basically it's terrible, easily one of the worst games i've ever played. But I did manage to complete it. Mainly 'cause I was determind to not be beaten by it :D
3/10 (if it wasn turtles, it'd probably have got a 1 or 0)
Well, sort of. Considering this based on the extremely annoying new Nickelodeon version of TMNT where Casey Jones is a 12 year old, Crang is a pain in the arse, April is a bit useless and for some godforsaken reason they say "booyakasha" instead of COWABUNGA!!! I got genuinly angry the 1st time I heard them say booyakasha instead, it's fucking retarded, they say COWABUNGA godamnit!!
And breathe. Sorry about that, but it's true. Anyway, the last TMNT game in the Nickelodeon verse was bad, but an entertaining 3D brawler, like turtles games should be. This is a single player only side scrolling affair. But don't for a second think this is a remake of the classic Amiga (or Nes if you're that way inclined) original. It simply takes the idea from it and ruins it and make it ludicrously hard.
For what is essentially a kids game, my god it's hard. If one of your turtles die, that's it, they're dead, unless you're lucky enough to find them hidden in the games maze like world and due to the stupid save system it's easier to simply reload your save when you die than to actually load up from the checkpoints, which take you back further than your save..... I know, it makes so much sense right. Oh yeah and as I said earlier, the whole game is a maze and trying to work out where you're suppost to go is a nightmare. God knows how kids managed with this game.
Basically it's terrible, easily one of the worst games i've ever played. But I did manage to complete it. Mainly 'cause I was determind to not be beaten by it :D
3/10 (if it wasn turtles, it'd probably have got a 1 or 0)
Wednesday 14 January 2015
Sucker Punch (Extended cut) (2011)
Sucker Punch is one of those films I've seen a quite a few times, but i'm not sure why. When I saw it at the cinema, I liked it, but I didn't think it was brilliant. It looked very nice, I do very much like the Director's (Zak Snyder) style. He also did the far superior and one of my favourite films Watchmen.
The film can be summed up like this. 5 young girls go into a weird fantasy world in the lead girls head to obtain items to help them escape the mental asylum they're in. It dosen't really make any sense. But the fantasy worlds all look amazing, where they pointless kill zombie nazis, massive samurai, dragons or robots in very stylish ways. Using guns (that wouldn't have been made when the film was set, but hey ho), swords or mechs.
The "extended" version only added 3 scenes I noticed that were different. 1 added sing/dance number, which looked really cool, like something from Moulin Rouge maybe. The 2nd was a big extension to one of the fantasy scenes which made it make a bit more sense. But the 3rd added about 5 minutes to the ending and did help to explain the "did you see the way she looked at me" bit.
Basically this is a big dumb fantasy blockbuster where young girls kill things and it looks very pretty. Don't expect a detailed plot, turn your brain off and enjoy.
7/10
The film can be summed up like this. 5 young girls go into a weird fantasy world in the lead girls head to obtain items to help them escape the mental asylum they're in. It dosen't really make any sense. But the fantasy worlds all look amazing, where they pointless kill zombie nazis, massive samurai, dragons or robots in very stylish ways. Using guns (that wouldn't have been made when the film was set, but hey ho), swords or mechs.
The "extended" version only added 3 scenes I noticed that were different. 1 added sing/dance number, which looked really cool, like something from Moulin Rouge maybe. The 2nd was a big extension to one of the fantasy scenes which made it make a bit more sense. But the 3rd added about 5 minutes to the ending and did help to explain the "did you see the way she looked at me" bit.
Basically this is a big dumb fantasy blockbuster where young girls kill things and it looks very pretty. Don't expect a detailed plot, turn your brain off and enjoy.
7/10
Miranda Heart "My what I call live show" (2014)
I like Miranda Heart.When she was on Not Going Out she was brilliant and when she is on panel shows on talk shows she is very entertaining. But her "sitcom" Miranda is just shit. It's just a women walking around falling over things. So I wasn't exactly bothered about watching this.
Turns out I was right. This was possibly the least funny stand up i've ever seen. I genuinly can't think of a worse one. There are bad stand up people, like Frankie Boyle who's DVDs are just him insulting people for 90 minutes or repetition from Mock The Week. Or you have people like Jack Dee or Peter Kay who are just not that funny. But this was worse than them. I recall laughing about 4 times maybe. To put in comparison I also saw Lee Mack's new DVD at Christmas and I remember laughing constantly.
Oh yeah, there was also a bit that was completely nicked from Lee Evans, but she missed a bit. Basically, this was quite bad.
3/10
Turns out I was right. This was possibly the least funny stand up i've ever seen. I genuinly can't think of a worse one. There are bad stand up people, like Frankie Boyle who's DVDs are just him insulting people for 90 minutes or repetition from Mock The Week. Or you have people like Jack Dee or Peter Kay who are just not that funny. But this was worse than them. I recall laughing about 4 times maybe. To put in comparison I also saw Lee Mack's new DVD at Christmas and I remember laughing constantly.
Oh yeah, there was also a bit that was completely nicked from Lee Evans, but she missed a bit. Basically, this was quite bad.
3/10
Halloween (1978 original)
This has to be the 5th or 6th time i've seen Halloween, but the 1st time in at least 5 years. I used to love it. But today, it wasn't as brilliant as I remembered.
Partly it's not aged brilliantly. Nothing really happens for an hour, it's all "tension" building, which dosen't work on me that well. Yes Michael Myers is far more menacing than either Freddy or Jason, but he has nothing to do but stand still and look a bit creepy for an hour. In this day and age (as my fiance put it) he looks more like he's going to rape the girls than kill them, by the way he's standing there staring at them. Also nowadays this 18 rated film, I think, could almost be a 12, it's seriously tame. There is next to no blood/gore, no swearing and only the briefest of tit shot.
This all being said though, I still like Halloween and it is my favourite out of the big 3. The Nightmare on Elm Streets are ok. The 1st one is still pretty good, as is 2 and 3 but they get very bad after that. The Friday the 13th's are all over the place. If I remember correctly, I really like part 5 and Jason X and that was it (and of course Freddy vs Jason was awesome).
Tension building films rarely work on me, but once this get's going there's something about it, that is very entertaining.
7/10
Partly it's not aged brilliantly. Nothing really happens for an hour, it's all "tension" building, which dosen't work on me that well. Yes Michael Myers is far more menacing than either Freddy or Jason, but he has nothing to do but stand still and look a bit creepy for an hour. In this day and age (as my fiance put it) he looks more like he's going to rape the girls than kill them, by the way he's standing there staring at them. Also nowadays this 18 rated film, I think, could almost be a 12, it's seriously tame. There is next to no blood/gore, no swearing and only the briefest of tit shot.
This all being said though, I still like Halloween and it is my favourite out of the big 3. The Nightmare on Elm Streets are ok. The 1st one is still pretty good, as is 2 and 3 but they get very bad after that. The Friday the 13th's are all over the place. If I remember correctly, I really like part 5 and Jason X and that was it (and of course Freddy vs Jason was awesome).
Tension building films rarely work on me, but once this get's going there's something about it, that is very entertaining.
7/10
Sunday 11 January 2015
My Top 10 films of the year (2014)
To also get you aquainted with my movie going tastes, here is my top 10 films of 2014. Now as you will see, I don't go for the "oscar" films as those are 99% of the time a load of bollocks. But I do have an extremely varied taste in films as you will see.
10 - Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
This is primarly here because I couldn't put the film before this (Rise of the apes) which was an amazing film. This is still very good, with breathtaking cgi and oscar worthy performaces from Andy Serkis (not that a film like this would ever even get noticed by oscary people). Plus ya know a big gorilla on top of a horse duel wielding M60 machine guns, damn cool!
9 - Lucy
I honestly don't remember this that well. But I know I thought it was very good. This is done by one of fav directors Luc Besson (Leon) and stars the always pleasing to the eye Scarlett Johansson (although doesn't look quite as good in this, neither me or my fiance could work out why though) as unwilling drug muel turned borderline god. It looks kool and the ending is very clever.
8 - St Vincent
This is the only "comedy" on the list and I have put comedy in inverted commas because it's one of those comedies that is half comedy then after about an hour turns pretty damn serious and even (in my case) makes you tearful. Bill Murray is brilliant as the title character and, well yeah, it's damn funny and rather heart warming. Even Melissa McCarthy is good in it.
7 - Guardians of the Galaxy
As good as this is, it's definately the most over-rated film of the year. Yes Groot/Vin Diesel is brilliant. Yes Rocket/Bradley Cooper are too. Yes so is Dave Bautista. Yes it looks really good and is often freakin hilarious but.... errr.... Ok it is a very good film. It's just not the 10/10 masterpiece everyone seems to hale it. It's not even the best Marvel film (I raise you Blade or Iron Man).
6 - Under the skin
or "The film where Scarlett Johansson gets completely naked" as it might as well be called to about 90% of the people who wanted to see it. It was the main reason my fiance and I watched it. I however thought it was a very good film too. Yes it is arty nonsense. Hardly anyone speaks and they actually made Scotland look pretty! But the film was engaging and mysterious and I really liked it..... Plus ya know, Scarlett naked :D
5 - Godzilla
Well this was alot better than I thought it would be. OK Godzilla himself might only have something like 20 minutes of screen time, but when he shows up and kicks ass at the end, it's so damn kool. Especially with his blue flame of death. Plus with Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor thingy), the better Olsen sister (Elizabeth I've been informed), Mr Breaking Bad and Ken (spends 90% of the film with his mouth wide open) Watanabe the acting chops are very good too.
4 - A Long Way Down
It's amazing how you can make a film about 4 people who all want to kill themselves so nicely entertaining. It's kind of a rom-com, but ya know, with suicide. Being as that is the central theme, there is some very serious bits and the 4 leads (Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collete, Imogen Poots & Aaron Paul) all pull this off very well, if I remember correctly, maybe my cry a tad in the process
3 - Her
I only watched this 'cause I found it for £2 in a charity shop and new I could sell it for more. But I'm so glad I watched it. It's hard to describe but it's a sort of rom-com, where the "com" is short for computer as well as comedy. Joaquin (stupid name) Phoenix falls in love with the AI in his computer (Scar Jo again) and that's it really. But it's very well made and oh so sad at the end.
2 - Horns
First off Daniel Radcliffes American accent in this is astonishing, he sounds like a completely different person. The plot is basic, everyone thinks he killed his wife when he hasn't and he has to prove them wrong. But he devlops these Horns that make everyone around him do "devlish" things and unleash their darkest fantasies/secrets on him....It's very clever and really well done.
1 - Need For Speed
Yes this really is that good. Not just as an adaption of a game or a "car movie". Imogen Poots (and the equally pretty) Aaron Paul spend about half this film driving around in a Mustang. But the action scenes are amazing, all done properly without a hint of cgi. It's suprisingly solid on the acting front as the script isn't as bad as everyone probably assumes it is. OK, maybe Horns or Her are "better" films. But I personally fucking loved this and that's why it's my number one. Plus Aaron Paul is just so kool.
Well there you have it. I think I should also point out my actor/tress of the year must be Scarlett Johansson as she is in 3 of those films and 2 of the films mentioned below.
Here are a few honourable mentions of films that didn't quite make the cut for me:
X-Men: Days of Future Past, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, 3 Days to Kill, Chef, Transendence, Edge of Tomorrow, Last Vegas, Grudge Match, Lone Survivor & A Million ways to die in the west.
Let me know what you think, how right/wrong I am in the comments below please.
Au revoir!
10 - Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
This is primarly here because I couldn't put the film before this (Rise of the apes) which was an amazing film. This is still very good, with breathtaking cgi and oscar worthy performaces from Andy Serkis (not that a film like this would ever even get noticed by oscary people). Plus ya know a big gorilla on top of a horse duel wielding M60 machine guns, damn cool!
9 - Lucy
I honestly don't remember this that well. But I know I thought it was very good. This is done by one of fav directors Luc Besson (Leon) and stars the always pleasing to the eye Scarlett Johansson (although doesn't look quite as good in this, neither me or my fiance could work out why though) as unwilling drug muel turned borderline god. It looks kool and the ending is very clever.
8 - St Vincent
This is the only "comedy" on the list and I have put comedy in inverted commas because it's one of those comedies that is half comedy then after about an hour turns pretty damn serious and even (in my case) makes you tearful. Bill Murray is brilliant as the title character and, well yeah, it's damn funny and rather heart warming. Even Melissa McCarthy is good in it.
7 - Guardians of the Galaxy
As good as this is, it's definately the most over-rated film of the year. Yes Groot/Vin Diesel is brilliant. Yes Rocket/Bradley Cooper are too. Yes so is Dave Bautista. Yes it looks really good and is often freakin hilarious but.... errr.... Ok it is a very good film. It's just not the 10/10 masterpiece everyone seems to hale it. It's not even the best Marvel film (I raise you Blade or Iron Man).
6 - Under the skin
or "The film where Scarlett Johansson gets completely naked" as it might as well be called to about 90% of the people who wanted to see it. It was the main reason my fiance and I watched it. I however thought it was a very good film too. Yes it is arty nonsense. Hardly anyone speaks and they actually made Scotland look pretty! But the film was engaging and mysterious and I really liked it..... Plus ya know, Scarlett naked :D
5 - Godzilla
Well this was alot better than I thought it would be. OK Godzilla himself might only have something like 20 minutes of screen time, but when he shows up and kicks ass at the end, it's so damn kool. Especially with his blue flame of death. Plus with Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor thingy), the better Olsen sister (Elizabeth I've been informed), Mr Breaking Bad and Ken (spends 90% of the film with his mouth wide open) Watanabe the acting chops are very good too.
4 - A Long Way Down
It's amazing how you can make a film about 4 people who all want to kill themselves so nicely entertaining. It's kind of a rom-com, but ya know, with suicide. Being as that is the central theme, there is some very serious bits and the 4 leads (Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collete, Imogen Poots & Aaron Paul) all pull this off very well, if I remember correctly, maybe my cry a tad in the process
3 - Her
I only watched this 'cause I found it for £2 in a charity shop and new I could sell it for more. But I'm so glad I watched it. It's hard to describe but it's a sort of rom-com, where the "com" is short for computer as well as comedy. Joaquin (stupid name) Phoenix falls in love with the AI in his computer (Scar Jo again) and that's it really. But it's very well made and oh so sad at the end.
2 - Horns
First off Daniel Radcliffes American accent in this is astonishing, he sounds like a completely different person. The plot is basic, everyone thinks he killed his wife when he hasn't and he has to prove them wrong. But he devlops these Horns that make everyone around him do "devlish" things and unleash their darkest fantasies/secrets on him....It's very clever and really well done.
1 - Need For Speed
Yes this really is that good. Not just as an adaption of a game or a "car movie". Imogen Poots (and the equally pretty) Aaron Paul spend about half this film driving around in a Mustang. But the action scenes are amazing, all done properly without a hint of cgi. It's suprisingly solid on the acting front as the script isn't as bad as everyone probably assumes it is. OK, maybe Horns or Her are "better" films. But I personally fucking loved this and that's why it's my number one. Plus Aaron Paul is just so kool.
Well there you have it. I think I should also point out my actor/tress of the year must be Scarlett Johansson as she is in 3 of those films and 2 of the films mentioned below.
Here are a few honourable mentions of films that didn't quite make the cut for me:
X-Men: Days of Future Past, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, 3 Days to Kill, Chef, Transendence, Edge of Tomorrow, Last Vegas, Grudge Match, Lone Survivor & A Million ways to die in the west.
Let me know what you think, how right/wrong I am in the comments below please.
Au revoir!
My Top 10 games of the year (2014)
I thought to get you aquainted to my tastes in games (and soon films) I will do a top 10 of last year, with mini reviews for each.
10 - Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
As much as I enjoyed playing this (MGS has always been a favourite of mine) and as cool as Keifer Sutherland is at the voice. This is essentially a £15-20 demo and for that reason alone I can't put it higher than 10.
9 - Murdered: Soul Suspect
This was a nice suprise as I'd mainly read bad things about it but I've no idea why. Ok it's VERY short (about 6-7 hours and that's with getting the full 1000 gamerscore), but the plot's different, it makes you think and it's actually quite creepy at times.
8 - Wolfenstein: The New Order
In terms of plot and whatnot, this is the dumbest game of the year. It might as well be called kill nazi's in space. Yes, you get to kill nazi's in space. What else can I say.... The shoot em up mechanics are solid as is the rest of the silly plot, but somehow even though it comes on 4 discs the game itself was still pretty short (about 12 hours I think).
7 - Grid Autosport
I'm a big racing game fan, but they are getting fewer and farer (is that a word?) between. This is one of the best in terms of variety of motorsport. I clocked up around 70 hours on this which is very unusual for me. Solid racing game, if a bit hard.
6 - The Wolf Among Us
After playing this companies last Game (The Walking Dead Season 1) I had to try this. TWD was easily the best game of that year. This isn't as good, but the mystery and atmosphere are all really well done. Plus it looks amazing and the whole mythology of "The fables" almost got me into reading the comic it's based on..... Almost!
5 - Alien Isolation
Now, if you know me you'll know I don't scare easy, if at all (Evil Within, yawn!) but this.... Well lets just say hiding from the Alien is one of the most tense/scary things you will ever have to do. Ok, after a while the idea where's a bit thin and as soon as you get the flame thrower it's alot easier (and the game's too long). But, it managed to creep me out, which is a massive achievement in itself.
4 - The Walking Dead: Season 2
As I mentioned above, the 1st season of this was amazing, never has a game made me cry before, but oh boy did that. This, isn't as good as the 1st one. But a decision you have to make at the end was positively gut wrenching I truelly didn't know what to do. 2nd most emotional game ever, only beaten by itself last year.
3 - Peggle 2
What can I say about Peggle other than it's seriously a-fucking-dictive. I got the 1st one when it was on sale for about 90p and loved it, so this was a day one purchase and it was worth it. Bloody awesome addictive puzzle goodness at it's best.
2 - Forza horizon 2
I really wasn't sure if this should've been no.1 or not as I loved this game, I played it to death (a good 50+ hours I think). Best racing game I've played in a long time. Beautiful open world, great selection of cars and much less annoying Americanisms than the 1st.
1- South Park & The Stick of Truth
Well what I can say about this game. I don't like South Park that much anymore, it's not a programme and actively watch (family guy is much better in my opinion). But this game is ingenius. For starters it looks exactly like the show, you could litterally be watching the show. The RPG elements are easy yet complex (which is good for me as I suck at RPG's) and it's bloody hilarious! From the clever mocking of other games to having to fight your way through Mr Slaves asshole (yep!) it was just brilliant. Best RPG i've played since Final Fantasy VIII.
So there you go. This was quite hard to do actually as I realised I hadn't actually played that many new games this year, let alone good ones. But I think I managed it. Let me know if you agree or not in the form of a comment below (I believe that's how it works on here).
Au revoir!
10 - Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
As much as I enjoyed playing this (MGS has always been a favourite of mine) and as cool as Keifer Sutherland is at the voice. This is essentially a £15-20 demo and for that reason alone I can't put it higher than 10.
9 - Murdered: Soul Suspect
This was a nice suprise as I'd mainly read bad things about it but I've no idea why. Ok it's VERY short (about 6-7 hours and that's with getting the full 1000 gamerscore), but the plot's different, it makes you think and it's actually quite creepy at times.
8 - Wolfenstein: The New Order
In terms of plot and whatnot, this is the dumbest game of the year. It might as well be called kill nazi's in space. Yes, you get to kill nazi's in space. What else can I say.... The shoot em up mechanics are solid as is the rest of the silly plot, but somehow even though it comes on 4 discs the game itself was still pretty short (about 12 hours I think).
7 - Grid Autosport
I'm a big racing game fan, but they are getting fewer and farer (is that a word?) between. This is one of the best in terms of variety of motorsport. I clocked up around 70 hours on this which is very unusual for me. Solid racing game, if a bit hard.
6 - The Wolf Among Us
After playing this companies last Game (The Walking Dead Season 1) I had to try this. TWD was easily the best game of that year. This isn't as good, but the mystery and atmosphere are all really well done. Plus it looks amazing and the whole mythology of "The fables" almost got me into reading the comic it's based on..... Almost!
5 - Alien Isolation
Now, if you know me you'll know I don't scare easy, if at all (Evil Within, yawn!) but this.... Well lets just say hiding from the Alien is one of the most tense/scary things you will ever have to do. Ok, after a while the idea where's a bit thin and as soon as you get the flame thrower it's alot easier (and the game's too long). But, it managed to creep me out, which is a massive achievement in itself.
4 - The Walking Dead: Season 2
As I mentioned above, the 1st season of this was amazing, never has a game made me cry before, but oh boy did that. This, isn't as good as the 1st one. But a decision you have to make at the end was positively gut wrenching I truelly didn't know what to do. 2nd most emotional game ever, only beaten by itself last year.
3 - Peggle 2
What can I say about Peggle other than it's seriously a-fucking-dictive. I got the 1st one when it was on sale for about 90p and loved it, so this was a day one purchase and it was worth it. Bloody awesome addictive puzzle goodness at it's best.
2 - Forza horizon 2
I really wasn't sure if this should've been no.1 or not as I loved this game, I played it to death (a good 50+ hours I think). Best racing game I've played in a long time. Beautiful open world, great selection of cars and much less annoying Americanisms than the 1st.
1- South Park & The Stick of Truth
Well what I can say about this game. I don't like South Park that much anymore, it's not a programme and actively watch (family guy is much better in my opinion). But this game is ingenius. For starters it looks exactly like the show, you could litterally be watching the show. The RPG elements are easy yet complex (which is good for me as I suck at RPG's) and it's bloody hilarious! From the clever mocking of other games to having to fight your way through Mr Slaves asshole (yep!) it was just brilliant. Best RPG i've played since Final Fantasy VIII.
So there you go. This was quite hard to do actually as I realised I hadn't actually played that many new games this year, let alone good ones. But I think I managed it. Let me know if you agree or not in the form of a comment below (I believe that's how it works on here).
Au revoir!
Saturday 10 January 2015
Introduction to "555 - The Critic"
This is a test, a beta if you will. To see if I am still able to type English good speak well..... Yes that was a joke. I used to write Film reviews, many many years ago before I.... Well.... Got a life really. I now have more friends and a beautiful fiance (who may from time to time chip in with her opinions on here, we'll see) to keep me somewhat busy.
But recently I've just felt like doing this again. I shall update this as and when I complete a game or see a film. So yeah, hope you all enjoy reading this :)
Au revoir.
But recently I've just felt like doing this again. I shall update this as and when I complete a game or see a film. So yeah, hope you all enjoy reading this :)
Au revoir.
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